Confused Soul – 2
I was thinking what to do to be special, i was kinda cutoff from the world she was in..
it was feeling bad.. i tried to break the barrier of simple physics.. i was transportin myself to the area 51, where she lives in.. i tried., i tried., i failed.. but then., why sudnt i feel for her.. why cudnt i think abt that at first..
I had this gut feeling that she would also be missing my presence over there.. even though theres nothing left behind to fill up the spoilers in between me and her., i tried to reduce the gap which started to diminish in its size..
I knew well., what?..? i really dint knw anythng… i travelled in imaginations, those few spilt seconds were really sweet., i turned back to reality to find that the path to the eternal pleasure is not always filled with petals.. we have to cross through the sharp toned thorns..!! i was ready to do that..
But i found sumthng pulling me back., trying to stop me from what am doin.. i cudnt get the real motive from the force which was ceasing me from my feelings..
I know., that once a glass is broken, its impossible to mend.. but still our heart wonders whether it can be re-produced in its own form..
My mind was in virtual war with my heart.. The heart which illusions things doesnt get the vision our mind has.. i started travellin little more philosopical., which really i really dint tend to..
Now, back to basics, i wanted to express my feelings back to her… I dint know whether it will work out.. but i was sure that there would be no repercussions since she was too matured this time from the schooling period.. she has gone through a lot of stuffz which had maked me more core than the mantle..
i could feel the heart beating a little slower with even missin and skippin a one or a couple in between..!! i was rigid that i still love her., i was adamant to reveal my feelings..
But., then i thought., Whats the expectations i have was not defined to myself., i dint know what should i have a reply as.. i dint know what i sud react for a possible three replies., i dint know what can be the reflections.. in simple.. i dint know WHAT I WANT..!!
Now, i was enlightened., why she called me a CONFUSED SOUL..!! i was getting all my answers from a simple word she addressed me with.. i cared for her but still am carin for her asusual.. i have affections, feelings, emotions all towards her still…i love her., but i failed in proving its worth before.. then whats the necessity in playin a spoil sport now..
I was clear. I am clear now.. The only things that was running between my heart and mind was won by my conscience that love can only be felt and never can be forced.. its like the wind which runs thru all over still we cant catch it and hold it in our hand.. we have to leave it to stroll thru this earth to make sure that it does get feeled by our face when goin towards it..
Expectations die, when you really feel for someone.. Am not confused.. but i LOVE her..
World is full of hearts, its just a spark that decides your companions.. its not a inventory..!! its all that instinct.. thats why love is the first basic instinct god created… Love you dear..!! its all cos of ya..!! the world included..!!